A Holiday-Season Chat With Author Lewis Black

Lewis Black, The Daily Show's resident angry man and author of I'm Dreaming of a Black Christmas, offers yell-tide greetings for your tinsel-loving soul this holiday season.

By Dan Bova

hether you're single or in a relationship, Lewis Black — The Daily Show's resident rant-monger and author of I'm Dreaming of a Black Christmas — wants to assure you that the holiday season sucks… for everybody. Here, we get the funnyman's advice on dating, gift-giving and dealing with your family and in our exclusive Q&A session.

What's the best way to shut down an annoying relative who always asks you during dinner when you're going to meet
You don't have to deal with that pressure, which can be immense.

Tell that person you've been neutered.

What's the worst thing about being single during the holidays?

You can reach a nearly psychotic vulnerability, as you are alone. It's a family holiday, and you are left wondering why you don't have a family of your own.

Are there any hidden benefits that arise from being single during the holidays?

You don't have a family of your own to worry about. You don't have to deal with that pressure, which can be immense. I have seen it in action!

Any advice on where to meet other single people during the holidays?

This is the worst time to go out and meet other single people because you are emotionally vulnerable.

What is an appropriate gift to give someone if you've only been dating for a few weeks?

Something simple that he or she might actually need, like cheese or wine.

And what is inappropriate for a gift?

Jewelry; don't be an idiot!

Any advice for introducing your new boyfriend or girlfriend to your insane relatives?
Wait until the relationship isn't new before introducing anybody.

Yeah — don't. Wait until the relationship isn't new before introducing anybody.

What should you bring if you are invited to your new guy or girl's parents' house?

Flowers are appropriate. Keep it simple; for example, I think a shotgun (or a portrait of yourself) would be inappropriate.

If you are dating someone who has kids, is this a good time to try to buy their affection?

Not in this economy.

Is the company holiday party a good time to finally make your feelings for a coworker known?

Only if you don't throw up after you do!

What's the most romantic holiday moment you've ever had?

What?! Really? You're asking me that? As close as I have come to something that could be considered "romantic" is when the father of my girlfriend sat up and drank scotch with me into the early hours. I thought to myself: This relationship may not work out, but he'd make a great father-in-law.

If you could boil it down to just one sentence, what would people learn from reading your book about the holiday season?

Learn to be happy alone first before you go out searching for a mate.

Lewis Black's most recent book, I'm Dreaming of a Black Christmas, is now available.

Dan Bova is executive editor of Stuff magazine.
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